When Reploids are bored
by DragonEyeZ
Summary: When Mavericks are lying low and Sigma appear to be dead at last, boredom settles over the Hunter HQ along with chaos... Rated for small references and amusing disfiguration of reploids. Chapter 6 added and even more madness.
1. Teasing the GYF

_A/N: Well… Even Mavericks must be lying low from time to time. And my mind could not help but consider if a reploid could become bored – and, if yes, what would they end up doing? The answer became quite chaotic. Started out as a jab against the more 'popular' choice of pairings, then steadily progressed into a downwards spiral of insanity._

**When reploids are bored**

The bug was peacefully crawling over the ceiling, its eight legs creating just the faintest tapping noise on the concrete, although it was blissfully unaware of the fact that it was crawling around upside down. Just as it was utterly oblivious to the small, red dot that was following it, slowly gaining, and finally coming to a rest at a point between its wings and in the center of its body.

"Don't even try it," Zero's voice interrupted.

With a grunt, X let his buster fall back down, turning it back into his hand, and stared at the bug instead. He never quite understood why any bug would like to make its home in the Maverick Hunters HQ – everything was concrete, metal or plastic – and there was nothing organic from which to live off. Of course, there was the stuffing of the mattress the blue reploid was currently lying on, but, in his mind, that did most certainly not count for organic either, seeing as it had belonged to Zero for the better part of two years. Then again – that might just have been what made it an attractive place to live for insects.

"Remind me again why we're here," X sighed, sitting up – causing the surprisingly ancient bed to creak; he had always wondered where his friend had managed to find it – and looked at the red reploid.

"Because Sigma apparently decided to finally drop dead and stay dead, rendering those stupid mavericks without a leader and ending up killing more of themselves than we could ever manage to do," Zero replied, his attention never wavering from the tiny, hand-held computer game he had managed to dig up as well.

The blue reploid sighed and rubbed a hand over his face as he continued: "I meant as in why are we sitting here instead of going on standby and passing the time in our recharge chambers – or, for that matter, use some time at the training hall or just walking around town?"

"Beats me. You were the one showing up here," Zero replied, his thumbs still moving over the controls as he guided some odd little figure around on the screen, collecting yellow coins and jumping on mushroom-shaped monsters.

With a frustrated groan, X dropped his head back on the only pillow adorning the bed and stared at the ceiling again. His bug had apparently decided to run off, and he enhanced his hearing slightly, trying to pick up the sound of its feet, but, instead, heard a faint giggling coming from outside the door.

It was not hard to guess its origins. Alia and her fellow Yaoi-Fangirls. GYF, as Zero sometimes referred to them as, standing for Girl Yaoi Fangroup - although X knew it also stood for Grotesque Yucky Fantasies. Ever since a single rumour had leaked out that Zero and X were lovers, they had been the prime target of the GYF, almost constantly being followed by someone with a camera and the hope of seeing them 'getting it on'. The thought alone was insane – being drones, neither of them was capable to take off their armour without destroying half their systems in the process, and neither had anything resembling reproduction organs.

Nevertheless, Zero never stood down from the change to tease the GYF. The low giggle was the first that had torn his gaze from his game and to the door – much to X's surprise – and he broke into a positively evil grin. Putting a finger to his lips, the red reploid tip-toed over to the door and kneeled down on the floor, holding his face close to the door.

At first, nothing happened. Then, Zero gave a deep, husky and long moan, ending with just the right pitch that X immediately caught on. Being thankful that he was able to contain the laughter that bobbled up within him, he rocked the bed, making sure it creaked nice and good as he gave a loud moan of his own. Judging from the way Zero began biting his fist to keep from laughing, the girls outside had heard it.

Snickering, the blue reploid gave another groan and rocked the bed again, making sure it slammed into the wall behind it as it creaked under his weight and movements. By now, the giggles grew loud enough for him to hear, forcing him, too, to shove a fist into his mouth to keep his laughter at bay and from destroying their little joke. Zero was still chewing on his glove, shoulders shaking with mirth, and his laughter escaping in small mewls and sobs – which, thankfully, only added to the little illusion they were creating.

Suddenly, someone grabbed at the handle, and, faster than lightning, the red reploid was back at his seat, both feet slammed onto a table and the game back in his hands, looking as focused on it as ever. X, understanding, flung his legs over the side of the bed and grabbed a random comic from the bedcover, holding it as if he was busy reading it. Just as the air settled after the quick movements, the door was pushed open, a camera was held in and the flash filled the room and overloaded their visual circuits for a brief second.

It clicked four times in a row, then was retreated and, X could hear, the girls took off down the hallway in a giggling, running crowd. A smirk crossed his face at the thought of what scream they would hear once those pictures were developed. True, the two friends would probably be hunted down and have their arms torn off, but it would be worth it all – if only he could see the female reploids' faces once they saw the pictures…


	2. A walk around HQ

_A/N: A short chapter. But I had difficulty getting it longer…_

* * *

**Chapter 2:**** A walk around HQ**

Signas sighed and dropped the stack of papers onto his desk. He hated getting information from Dr. Cain – the old human kept insisting on using a pencil and paper to jot down notes, rather than using one of the more technical and modern means of noting. Such as a computer… And, because Dr. Cain had a light shaking of the hands, his handwriting was nearly illegible – the Reploid commander had never thought that it would be so tedious and straining on his processors to figure out if the old man wanted three scores of pink-frosted doughnuts or if there were signs of a new maverick virus breaking out… Cain had never forgiven him for the time he had mixed up the two, and had sent out troops to take down these mavericks instead of sending the doughnuts.

Leaving the room that he had labeled as 'Office' – even though it had affectionately been dubbed 'The 666th Floor of Hell' by the Hunters – Signas decided to take a walk around the headquarters and get some change in his surroundings. After all, it had been weeks since anyone had heard anything from any mavericks, and although security had not been slacked yet, there was truly no rush in getting anything done. Besides, Cain could wait another half hour for his doughnuts…

However, when he entered the room that served as a cafeteria for the humans employed at the HQ, he stopped and blinked, wondering if his optical systems had begun to malfunction. Quite a lot of people had gathered at the cafeteria's doors, although keeping a respectful distance to its center. Clinging onto the electrical wires from one of the large lamps hanging from the ceiling, Signas could easily spot the forms of both Commander X and Commander Zero. Beneath them, and what kept others at a distance, stood a group of five females – three reploids and two humans – and shrieked a multitude of curses and threats at the two Commanders in the lamp.

Commander Zero appeared to be utterly unaffected, hanging upside down from the wire and his attention directed at a small box within his hands – some form of primitive digital game that Signas had seen in old photographs – while Commander X was trying to explain something to the raging females over their screeching.

Turning his attention to the side of the cafeteria, Signas spotted Douglas, Lifesavor and their respective crews, each busy preparing for what appeared to be a massive reploid reconstruction. The other reploids and humans at the room were also busy, making bets on who of the two Commanders that would fall down first, who of the females that would cause most damage, and, with the highest odds, who of the male reploids who would manage to make it furthest away before getting caught and trampled.

"Put my money on X dropping down first and making it to the cafeteria door," Signas murmured to one of the bookmarkers, before he turned on his heel and disappeared from the scene of crime.

It appeared that this would be another usual day at the Hunter Headquarters…


	3. Priorities revealed

_A/N: Ah, yes. Zero likes his game, no? Quite short, I know. But next chapter will be somewhat longer. This idea just wouldn't leave me..._

* * *

**Chapter 3: Priorities revealed**

Douglas sighed and ran a hand over his forehead. He had seen thousands of mangled reploids throughout his time as a mechanic, and he had a far better understanding of the anatomy of any single reploid within the HQ than even Lifesavor – and yet, he had never pictured he would see a situation such as this.

It was, actually, pretty impressive, he could not help but conclude and leaned in again to study the phenomena closer. He had no idea how the joints of the jaw had been stretched so much, nor how the synthetic skin had avoided being torn, but he did know that he could fix it again. His biggest problem lay in the request from said reploid…

"I'm sorry, Zero. But I can't save your game," the green mechanic finally stated with a sigh and stood back up.

A strangled sound escaped the red Commander, somehow making its way around the small handheld device that had been shoved into his mouth by a group of angry females, and he grabbed the small pad and pen that Douglas had managed to dig up.

_scribblescribblescribble_

"Yes, I'm sure," the mechanic sighed after reading what had been written. "The only other way would be to dissemble your entire face in order to get it out, and even then, I couldn't assure it would still be functional."

_scribblescribbleSCRIBBLE_

"Zero… I would literally have to cut my way in through your neck, torch the entire side of your cheek and lift half your skull from your jaw to do it. And I can't even assure you that I would be able to put YOU back together after that!"

_scribblescribble_...the red reploid thoughtfully tapped the end of the pen against his chin for a moment. _scribble?_

"Well… Yes, there is a chance that I CAN put you back together after that operation, and yes, there's a chance that your game would still be intact after that."

With a satisfied nod, Zero placed the pad down on the bench again, crossed his arms and straightened his spine as he waited for Douglas to commence the surgery.

"You know, it WOULD be a lot easier if I just removed it with a crowbar," the mechanic sighed, but found his welding torch and began working…


	4. Meanwhile

_A/N: In response to the question asked about what game Zero plays, I believe that he's found (probably at a junkyard or perhaps while digging through a Maverick's base) an ancient type of hand-held entertainment device from the very early 21st century with the words PSP inscribed on it – and an even older game-cartridge within it labelled "Super Mario 3" _

_And look. I'm baaaack!_

* * *

**Chapter 4: Meanwhile…**

X stared at the wall between his feet and wondered how much longer he would have to stay in this place. Knowing the GYF, it would take quite a while for them to forget the embarrassment his and Zero's little trick had caused them, and thus, he would need to stay hidden for quite a while. Currently, he had located a place to hide which, he had to admit to himself, was pretty ingenious. With his feet firmly planted on one wall and his neck at the opposite, he managed to hang suspended in the air some twenty feet up one of the few, tall corridors, well above the floor and anyone that might notice him.

His biggest problem at the moment was that his own weight was slowly dragging him down, meaning that he, from time to time, had to take a few steps up the wall again in order to stay hidden – and that meant he had to turn his audio receiver to its maximum in order to tell whether or not something was approaching. At the current moment, he wished he had thought to summon one of his more advanced armours with the ability to stick to walls – such as the Shadow Armour or Gaea Armour… Then again, the last time he had worn either of the two, Zero had found it most entertaining to pick him up and throw him into the air to see him sticking to a low ceiling.

Speaking of Zero, the blue reploid could not help but wonder how his friend was faring. When X had decided to stop trying to argue with the angry GYF and just escape, his jump from the lamp had upset Zero's grip on the wire and caused the red reploid to crash to the ground – X had not remained behind long enough to see if his friend had escaped or not, concerned as he was with his own salvation at the moment of panic there. He had merely dashed down the corridors, hearing the howling noises of women behind him as they took up the hunt much like robotic hounds, and it had only been quick thinking and a leap out a five-storey window which had saved him from their initial wrath. He had following returned to an area near the cafeteria, and had located this short, but very tall corridor, lit only by a single window in the ceiling. Fortunately, for him, the window had long since been blocked off when huge satellite dishes had been placed on the roof, and thus he was virtually invisible as long as he kept his radio disabled and no one thought about looking up when passing underneath.

Had he been Zero, he contemplated, he would probably long since have blown his cover by dropping random objects on people's heads. But, he wasn't, and therefore he would be able to keep hiding without being discovered. It made sense. He was a reploid, and therefore unable to feel hunger or thirst. He could hang in this position until his batteries ran dry, and if he crashed to the ground when that happened, he would be utterly oblivious to any damage he took, meaning that the GYF could kick him to pieces without actually harming him. His only slight concern was that Lifesavor and Douglas might have difficulties putting him together again – but he had full confidence in those two, seeing as they had managed to reconstruct him several times already.

Pursing his lips, X wondered briefly why his brain seemed to go into overdrive when he was not doing anything constructive like fighting mavericks, trying to finish some annoying report, or playing dodgeball with a few of Douglas' leftover rocket bike engines. Although that particular version of the old game had originally been invented by a runaway maverick who had thrown small cars at the Hunters in an attempt to stop them, and Zero had later stated that he thought they had made such a pretty Boom-noise when they exploded.

Folding his hands on his stomach, the blue reploid momentarily tapped his chest plate as he watched his feet slip another fraction of an inch downwards. Of course, he could push harder against the wall, but it was old and worn, and he feared his legs would merely end up by going straight through the wall, leaving him in a quite odd position if someone SHOULD think about looking up while passing underneath. At least, he mused as he lifted one boot and pried loose a piece of dried paint with his toes, there was an ever-growing chance of the mavericks to suddenly start re-appearing and smashing things once more, giving him a good excuse to flee the base and get as far away from Alia and her gang as possible.

"X!" a shill voice beneath him suddenly shrieked, overloading his audio processor.

Glancing down, pressing one hand against the wall to keep himself up and using the other to rub his ear as he felt the circuits within his head re-settle and solve the damage done. Spotting the pink, female reploid standing beneath him, glaring up with a gaze that could have burned a hole through Magma Dragon, X found only a single word befitted the whole situation... He was in big trouble.


	5. The Jokerbot

**Chapter 5: The Jokerbot**

X knew he was in even bigger trouble than before. Alia had given a second banshee-shriek, and had caused enough of an overload to his systems that his synthetic reflexes had kicked in, and he had slapped both hands to his ears – with the result that he had plummeted to the ground, thus landing on the only object beneath him: Alia. At least the blow had stunned her for just a few seconds, giving him enough time to test the stress his dashing-mechanism could handle as he sped off in a random direction. Which one it was he did not care, as long as it was away from the leader of the GYF…

Turning around a corner in the corridor in the fashion he by now had started to handle the corners – by crashing into the wall in front of him, stopping his momentum before kicking off from the perpendicular wall and continuing down the new corridor – he suddenly found himself face to face with a door, its sheer size taking up the entire width of the corridor. Doing a brief calculation, X made an estimation of his current speed, the distance to the door, and the speed with which he could break, before he came to one conclusion, closed his eyes and covered his head with his arms to protect the more vulnerable systems stored there.

With a crash worthy of the time where the Eurasia had slammed into Earth, X torpedoed the door at full speed, with enough force to create a dent visible on the other side of the metal. As he fell to the ground, dazed as his systems began working their way around the damages his crash had caused, the door was closed enough for the person behind it to see what was happening.

"X? Wha's happening?" Zero asked, grabbed hold of the blue reploid's arm and hoisting his friend to his feet.

Just then, from the corridor which X had originally come from, a shriek like a maddened hound reached their ears. The two looked briefly to each other, before they, wordlessly, rushed off, Zero clutching his repaired game in one hand, and X holding on tight to his other arm as the red reploid could dash even faster.

However, just a few corridors and a single stairway later, yet another door decided to open right in front of them – but, as this one was made of wood, both reploids tore straight through it in a shower of splinters, and leaving the person opening the door with naught but the handle in his hand.

"I know I asked for someone to be sent up as fast as possible, but I didn't mean it that literally," Cain dryly commented, looking at the heap of reploids and ex-door lying a few feet further down the corridor. "If Signas sent you up with my doughnuts, good. Else, there's a maverick trying to make a new skylight in the roof of the mall, and you two can see if you can round up someone to handle it."

"We'll take care of it!" X immediately cried, spitting out a hinge.

"Coordinates, old man!" Zero voiced in agreement, arms flailing as he tried to dislodge X from his back. "We have to save the people of the city as soon as possible! That maverick can be deadly!"

Cain raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing as a shill howl from somewhere back from the corridor the two reploids had just left interrupted anything he could have said, and both the human's brows rose in comprehension. Barely seconds later, the two commanders' bodies dissolved into beams of light, soaring towards the heavens and the satellites there, where the data of their molecules would be processed before being sent in a shape that would re-solidify them at a calculated altitude. It was a risky business, although it was without doubts the fastest way to travel, and nearly every reploid had experienced a flaw where they had ended up a few inches into the floor rather than the obligatory quarter of an inch above it. But, as it was, the two reploids reformed in perfect condition at the biggest mall of the city, just in time to find the wreck of an indoor bench exiting the large glass side and spin over their heads.

"I think we've found our maverick," X muttered, ducking as the shards from the glass followed in the wake of the bench. "Who do you propose it is?"

"Judging from the amount of havoc here, I'd say shredded metal," Zero growled, before dashing towards the building and leaping through the hole in the wall.

The blue reploid shook with head with a rueful smile, although he could not help but feel some form of pity towards the maverick, who would now be facing the full wrath of Zero-having-been-bored-for-seven-weeks, and broke into a dash as well, taking care to gain enough momentum for him to jump through the hole in the wall. After all, Zero was the only reploid who so far had mastered the skill of using his dash-booster to basically allow him to jump a second time while still airborne.

It was quite a long drop to the floor, however, as they had managed to go through a hole in the one glass wall that was not right up against a storey, but, instead, lay against the side where a gap of some fifty feet allowed a person to look straight down from the topmost floor to the bottommost, which basically meant a view going twenty storeys or three hundred feet straight down. As it was, however, the two commanders had not jumped off the top floor – which would have been impossible anyway, seeing as the spaces between floor and ceiling was covered with an impenetrable diamond-enforced glass plate, which was so solid that it would be easier to break through the wall – and therefore, X's drop was no more than fifteen stories. At least, he thought to himself as he crashed into the wreck of metal and wood that had once been a free-standing stall – apparently selling corndogs, judging from the sign still standing on what was once its roof – he was not a human, as he would most certainly have broken at least one leg in the process, and quite possibly his arms, ribs, hip, spine and skull at the same time.

Standing up in the debris, shaking his head to clear it of rubble, he was knocked to the ground again when a bench, this time one of those of reinforced-steel, smashed into his back, and an insane cackle told that the maverick had spotted the blue commander's less-than-graceful landing.

"Why oh why didn't I think about calling one of my armours?" X growled to himself, placing both hands against the floor and pushed upwards with all his might, managing to dislodge the six hundred-something pound heavy bench, and felt the familiar drain as the nanobots within his synthetic blood quickly attended the damage done to his systems, but in turn took the energy they needed from his batteries.

A red bolt shot past the pile of mixed stall, reploid and bench, screaming a string of obscenities which could have made even the most hardened robot flinch, and sent a string of white-glowing lights towards the fourth storey – or, more specifically, X saw once his optical sensors straightened, the small ledge running between the third and fourth storey. The maverick situated there was more or less shaped like a vaguely humanoid ant, using its four hind legs to run and having the foremost two legs as arms and hands. Its colours, however, consisted of a dark plum for body, with white shaping its clawed hands and face, and a triangle of green crowned its head. It darted along the ledge, sometimes running on it, sometimes running on the wall, and sometimes doing a strange kind of jump that almost made it look as if it was flying. A fact not helped by the small detail that it indeed had two wings – small, cardboard-like and definitely not suited for flying – which it flapped vigorously every time its feet was not in contact with something solid.

Suddenly, about the same time as the blue reploid had managed to climb out of the debris, the maverick turned and flung its hand in the direction of the two hunters, sending out a volley of small, square projectiles, and X found himself knocked into cover behind the corndog-sign by Zero, who had reversed direction almost faster than the eye could see.

"Playing cards?" the red reploid asked in bafflement, reaching a hand out from behind the safety of their cover to pull out one of the card-shaped projectiles from where it had firmly lodged itself one-and-a-half inch into the floor and, turning it over in his hands, gave a guffaw.

"The Joker," he continued, holding up the card for X to see. "Looks like this one's creator was a fan of Batman, although he seems to have gotten a few ideas from Gambit. I say we call it Jokerbot until we find out more about it."

"Batman?" X asked with a frown, taking the card and examining the thin piece of metal. "Gambit?"

"Twentieth century comicbook characters," Zero explained with a roll of his eyes, and snatched back the card with a grin. "The Joker was Batman's main antagonist. And a psycho. He's always been my hero."

"You know, if you were human, you'd have long since been given one of those nice jackets with long sleeves and a comfy, padded room to sleep in," X chuckled as Zero flicked the card over his shoulder, and an ear-shattering explosion followed in its wake.

"Aww. Now you're making me blush," the red reploid replied, smirking, before pulling his Z-sabre from its sheath on his back and leaped over the sign.

X sat back on his haunches, and mentally began counting. Exactly thirty-eight seconds, five minor explosions, one giant flash of light and the sound of a wall falling down later, Zero dived back into the cover, barely missing another volley of the part-explosive playing cards.

"Technically speaking, you ought to be a better strategist than me," he said, giving two of his fingers a lick and extinguished a small flame in his hair. "So come up with a strategy we can use."

"Firstly, we need to get him down here," X replied. "When he's as far up as now, he's got enough time to avoid our busters, and he's too far away for us to reach in any other fashion. And no, before you ask, we can't drop the entire mall on his head."

"You're no fun," Zero moaned, his shoulders slumping. "But then how're we supposed to get him down?"

"Don't worry – you'll get to destroy things," X soothed, patting the other reploid's hand, and fought hard not to laugh at the way the red hunter's eyes lit up at those words. "In fact, that'll be required. If we can get one of those heavy benches out through the glass of the fifth storey, it'd be able to knock this Jokerbot down. And that's where you come in – you need to find a way of getting the bench down to hit the maverick, without collapsing the entire building in the process."

"Will do!" Zero agreed with a happy grin, leaving into the air and grabbed onto the wall, climbing up it with all the speed he could muster, although X mentally lamented the loss of the mall's elevator. As it was, he knew that it was the only hole in the protective glass, and also that Zero knew the same as well.

With a shrug, figuring that they had done worse damage to buildings previously, the blue reploid charged his buster and dashed from his cover, zig-zagging through the debris while he avoided the madly cackling maverick's cards, and released his charge when he deemed he was as close to the Jokerbot as he could be while still being able to aim. As he had expected, the maverick quickly moved out of the way to dodge the attack, and the blast instead struck the glass behind it, where the energy was released in a powerful flash and a sizzle, although the glass remained without even a dent. However, X had not aimed for the Jokerbot with the intention of hitting it, but, instead, had aimed with the intention of driving it in a specific direction, and he gave a victorious grin when the maverick did exactly as he had planned. Breaking into a run, he let forth a continuous stream of small shots, driving the Jokerbot in front of him, and yet taking care that the attacks landed close enough to it that anyone would claim he was aiming straight for it.

The blue reploid quickly dashed forward the second the maverick came between the small pillars forming the frame of the elevator, and released a blast right in front of the Jokerbot, causing it to break its momentum and stop dead in its tracks. It turned, giving him a yellow-eyed glare, and its hands twitched as it prepared to launch another volley of the deadly playing cards. But, before it managed to throw them, a twang followed by a large, whirring noise caused it to look up, just in time to see a solid enhanced-steel-and-glass elevator filled to the point of bursting with metal benches came crashing towards it at a speed of a few hundred miles per hour. X was certain he heard the maverick make a noise like that of 'oh, shi..' as the elevator struck it, not even slowing its descend as it thundered towards the ground, and smashed into the floor, burying itself four feet into the tiles.

"Crude," the blue commander said with a grin, looking up just in time to see Zero dropping down from the seventh floor and crash through the top of the elevator, sending up a cloud of dust and small shards of metal. "But effective."

A red arm merely stuck up from the smashed, bent and mutilated elevator, flashing a thumbs-up to X before it vanished again into the rubble. Smiling, X activated his comlink to the headquarters.

"HQ, this is X. We need a cleaning team sent over ASAP, as the..," he began, and then flinched as a shill voice began screaming into his ear in a volume that not even his systems was capable of overwriting. He guessed that he ought to have thought better than having called headquarters while Alia was on the watch…


	6. Teddy

_A/N: Uhm... Yeah. Chapter's been on my harddrive for about a year. Completely forgot to update. Sorry about that._

Chapter 6: Teddy

"So…," X began. "Let me get this straight… Alia refused us access to the Hunter HQ, and, instead, programmed the teleporter to drop us off at the North Pole, before she cut all channels of our communicators?"

"If you hadn't guessed already from the sheer amount of snow here, along with the odd silence when we try to get into contact with someone, then, yes, that's pretty much what happened," Zero replied, brushing a stray snowflake off his shoulder and gave a light shrug. "It'd seem that she's yet to forgive us for our little joke."

"Really?" the other reploid sarcastically asked, and lifted a boot from the snow. "I'd never have guessed that that was why she chased me through the entire HQ, or why we're standing in several feet of snow, or why she decided that we shouldn't be able to communicate with anyone, or even why there's a polar bear heading towards us."

Indeed, a great white bear was, clearly curious, heading towards the two hunters and obviously not quite understanding what it was looking at. It sniffed at Zero – who completely ignored the massive creature – before it, playfully, swatted the red reploid with a large paw. Had he been a human, he would most likely have been tossed into the air, and he would definitely have been seriously injured by the swat. However, as it was, the reploid barely moved from the blow, and, instead, fixed the bear with his most annoyed glare.

"I'm not in the mood, Teddy. Beat it," he growled with a dismissing wave of his hand.

Making a sound that was something between a playful growl and an annoyed grumble over being ignored, the polar bear rose onto its hind legs, placed both paws on Zero's shoulders, and gave a mighty shove with its full weight. Not even artificial muscles could withstand this, and X suddenly wished he knew how to disable his laughing mechanism while Zero began spitting both snow and curses at the bear – now sitting on his back and happily licking his helmet.

"If you as much as think about mentioning this to anyone, I swear I'll sell you to a car factory," the red reploid snarled at his comrade, although the only result was that X toppled forward into the snow, laughing so hard that he feared for a moment his systems would explode as a result. The bear, unaffected, continued its throughout cleaning of Zero's helmet.

Hours later, the scenery had still not changed. Snow and ice stretched for as far as an artificial eye could see, and it was only their built-in GPS – thankfully something that Alia had not disabled; yet – that let them know that they were not walking in circles.

Somewhere behind them, a red spot in the middle of all the white marked the place where the polar bear – still following the two reploids– had captured, slain and following devoured a small seal. Needless to say, Zero had instantly taking a liking the bear, and, even before X managed to voice his protest, promptly stated that they should take it back to the Headquarters and keep it as a pet. Despite being an animal, the bear had apparently understood, and now Theodore, as Zero affectionately had named their furry friend – although X had pointed out that it was a female – dutifully followed the red reploid like a puppy following its mother.

"How do you propose that we get away from this place?" X asked, glancing backwards at his two companions. "Knowing Alia, she's completely smashed our communicators, which will mean that it will take some time before they get them back up and running, get a lock on us and get the teleporters up and working. And I do know that this cold won't be all that good on our systems, if we should be lying too long in the snow."

"I don't know about you, but my energy cells can last five or six days at their current level," Zero's muffled reply came from somewhere beneath Theodore's fur, as the bear had – in a sudden fit of love – wrapped the red reploid in a great hug. "And we're about eight days away from the nearest port. From there, though, it should only be a few days before we're back at HQ."

"You forget one thing," X replied with a sigh, running a hand over his helmet. "My energy cells won't last much longer than yours, and, thus, none of us have enough energy to make it to the coast… And unless Douglas gets the teleporter up and running within five days…"

"Pish posh," the other replied, waving a hand in the air. "We'll just try and digest things to extract energy – humans do that all the time. Besides, we can preserve energy by avoiding to move too much, and we can last those eight days it'll take, if we don't encounter one of the many maverick bases you've smashed over the years."

X stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at the red reploid. "What did you say?"

"We have to preserve energy?" Zero asked after a moment of thinking. "Or that we can try to eat things?"

"Not that," the blue reploid said with a laugh, shaking his head. "Maverick bases! Even if it's been years since those were destroyed, there's bound to be some energy capsules left – and with those, we can easily last all the time we need, and we might even be lucky enough to find a working radio so we can contact the Headquarters and tell them of our predicament!"

"You forget one thing," Zero drawled and managed to give one of his patented 'you're a complete moron' looks, despite Theodore's attempts to wrestle him to the ground. "Alia usually answers incoming calls. She'd just say that we're phone salesmen and cut us off before we manage to do more than introduce ourselves."

"Which is why we'll make a distress call!" X grinned, already all but bouncing through the snow towards the coordinates of the nearest maverick base he had cleaned out a few years ago. "All of the Hunters hear a distress call, and someone is bound to notice it – in particular as we're far from those who grew most insane from the lack of activity!"

Zero stood for a moment, looking after his friend who continued to bounce through the snow, before turning his gaze to the bear beside him.

"You know, Theodore. I'm quite certain that X has finally managed to go utterly mad," the red reploid said, and convinced himself that the bear was nodding in agreement.

Regardless of what they had mostly believed, the old Maverick Base that had once belonged to Frost Walrus was still fairly intact, and after having made their way through the initial defence systems – which, unfortunately, were still working – the two friends found themselves within one of the many control rooms that filled the base. To their surprise, most of the systems and panels were still working, and electricity was functioning without fail.

"This is odd. I thought this place had been completely destroyed, or, at least, destroyed enough that it couldn't produce electricity for itself any more," X said with a frown, watching a bar on a screen monitoring the flow of some under-ice current.

"Apparently, you weren't as throughout as you thought," Zero replied with a shrug and trotted off down a random corridor, the doors opening before him as if the place was still inhabited. "We could make a base of our own here, you know. If we didn't know about it, then I doubt anyone else in the HQ knows that it's still functioning, and then we'd have our own place to hide when Alia throws a fit."

"Just find the energy capsules before you start designing the curtains," X sighed, though a smile tugged at his lips.

He knew that he had been the one who had been most optimistic about finding the base in a somewhat intact state; however, it had immediately been Zero who had held the highest hopes for what they could find. 'Maybe even a stray maverick or three that we can stomp!'. Theodore had followed her master, and while she had appeared outmost surprised by the many blinking apparatuses, she quickly discovered that although some old, broken reploids may have looked like fish, none of them were edible…

Running his hand over one of the consoles, X cleaned a few years worth of snow off its surface, and blinked in surprise when he noticed that it was nothing less than the control system for the base's heaters. Making a brief calculation, estimating the overall consistency of the ice, the heat that would be generated, the age and disuse of the system, he ended up with shrugging and turning the heater up to half power, figuring that someone would have been clever enough to ensure that the heat could not be high enough to melt the ice that made up the base.

Turning, he continued to scrape ice off the many consoles, and, soon, had restored most of the control panels to a state where it was possible to figure out mostly which controlled what within the base. At the same time, noises from down the corridors told of Zero's exploits when it came to exploring the base, and a snort and growl told that Theodore was doing what she could to help her master.

"Hey! X, check this out!" the reploid in question called, and, turning his head from the apparent nuclear control console, the blue hunter spotted his friend standing in the doorframe, grinning like a maniac while juggling a round, metal object. "You're up for a game of dodgeball?"

"I'd suggest that you'll be careful with that," X replied, turning his eyes back to the screen. Barely seconds later, a tiny tick from the round object signalled that it had gone off, and then Zero found his hair singed by the small explosion that followed.

"You could have said that earlier," the red reploid grumbled, plunging his hand into a pile of snow to prevent the resulting fire from causing too much damage to his systems.

"It's more fun to watch you mess up," the other replied, barely managing to hide his grin and putting up a mask of indifference.


End file.
